http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ Speak your mind and share your thoughts en Thu, 09 Sep 2010 04:55:47 +0000 http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=25#post-52 Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:00:35 +0000 wickedstep 52@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>I&#39;m sorry you have to live through this. Girls take things differently then boys, as I&#39;m sure you know having both. Is her bio dad involved in her life? Sounds like this girl has some deep rooted problems, and most likely anger &amp; resentment towards her parents. Something I will say about Psychologists, is that sometimes you have to try a few before you get good results. We had this problem with the oldest skid, and had to take her to 3 before it seemed to do any good. I would try not to giver her problems extra attention if it can be avoided, but see if you can get on her level and connect. It&#39;s hard with a 17yr old, because they know the freedom of 18 is right round the corner and if they want they can do as they please.<br /> Most likely she is just experimenting with being gay, and the fact that it&#39;s taboo in your house may make it all the more appealing.<br /> Perhaps if you use reverse psychology on her, have a sit down with her &amp; tell her that while the bible says it is wrong to be gay, you &amp; her mom still love and care about her, although you think she is making a big mistake. Perhaps acknowledging that shes &quot;gay&quot; will make it less taboo. Also, have her invite her friend over when the family is around, and try to get to know this other girl, if you don&#39;t already. Let her know that she can have her friend over anytime, and that she is welcome in your house. Usually, bringing something like this into the open and making it a well known thing makes it less desirable, since you wouldn&#39;t be fighting her on it. Trying to shame teenagers out of what they are doing hardly works.<br /> Otherwise, it&#39;s a good thing your praying because there is not lot else you can do to a 17 yr old, but wait till they are 18 and kick them out. But if you want to reach her, do what Jesus would and show her that you accept her &amp; care about her, and if she is determined to be gay, then you will love her anyways.<br /> That being said, you may want to take babysitting privileges away from her for the safety of your 4yr old. If she has subjected the child to this, then what else has she tried when your not around? She has broken your trust, and you would be better off spending the money for a capable babysitter to keep an eye on everyone when your not around.<br /> Best of luck! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=25#post-51 Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:32:00 +0000 njsuperfreak 51@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>You should first handle this situation a prayer...Kids are going to rebel, and experience life on there own. It&#39;s our jobs as parents to inform them of the consequences. We can only try to educate them to make wiser choices, and to try avoid the pain that we went though at that age. </p> <p>I can tell you from experience is not easy being a step child. I grew with a half def step father, who treated his real kids differently then us. He lacked the communication skills which ultimately lead to his down fall.</p> <p>I don&#39;t think there is really much you can do but pray, and be supported of her. You need to somehow reach into her world and find out what is really going on here. It&#39;s seems as though she is reaching for attention. So give her some, try to find a common interest. Time, Prayer, and the Lords Guidance will see you through... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=25#post-50 Sun, 06 Dec 2009 07:28:08 +0000 bravo2aviation 50@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Hi I am brand new to this forum, and am in a terrible bind. Just looking for some advise from someone who has hopefully, although unfortunately, been there..My wife and I have been happily married for 8 years. I am the step dad of her two kids, ages 13(boy), and 17(girl). We also have a 4 year old that is ours together. The 13 year old is good as gold, but the 17 year old girl has been a troublemaker for as long as I&#39;ve known them. She has been expelled from school, been caught cutting herself, been in therapy, which according to her therapist, successfully completed, and the list goes on. I have kept a little distance, while still letting it be known that her mom and I are united in our decisions. About 6 months ago, she decided she would rather be &quot;gay&quot;, which, as a devout christian family, we do not like. She seemingly complied with our rules, but we have recently found out about sneaking out and a secret cell phone provided by the other girl, who is 16. My wife and I went christmas shopping earlier today, the 13 year old was playing in a basketball tourney, and we left our daughter in charge of babysitting the 4 year old. Upon arrival, the 4 year old began describing all the &quot;activity&quot; that went on ALL DAY while the other girl was there. She came over right after we left as he was eating his breakfast, and stayed all day, so no supervision. This REALLY ticked me and my wife off. When my wife confronted her about it, She (daughter) became irate and kicked my wife in the throat and began texting one of her school friends that she was being harrassed. I later found out that this was not the first occurrance of the girl coming over, and that my little 4 year old was threatened not to say anything. How should I handle this situation??? I am in deep need of advise. I am protecting my little boy with prayer first and foremost, but also with force if needed..Thanks so much </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=23#post-49 Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:22:54 +0000 wickedstep 49@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>We didn&#39;t let the kids get this, even though BM went off about it. funny, the only thing we had to say to shut her up was, hey if you want them to get it so bad then take them on your own time with your own money. Of course, that was the last of that argument. she would never &quot;waste&quot; her money on them. We just don&#39;t see that the H1N1 flu shot is extremely helpful, so are holding out for more conclusive evidence to come out. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=17#post-48 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:21:10 +0000 wickedstep 48@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>heh.. I wish this came true for us... leave and let us have the kids! It&#39;s nice having her &quot;babysit&quot; every couple weeks, ( when she does pick them up) but for all the grief, I would gladly just as soon pay a babysitter. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=21#post-47 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:18:47 +0000 wickedstep 47@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Yup, great new administration we have. Seriously, we have never used the eye insurance, and hardly ever the dental. Thanks OBAMA! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=24#post-46 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:16:27 +0000 wickedstep 46@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>How horrible! The 3 kids live with us, but I would never send them to her house dirty, or in ill fitting clothes. We do send them in play clothes, so that if they get &quot; lost&quot; and not returned, then there&quot;s not much loss. So weird that the BM does this... why would you send a child anywhere dirty? When they come back to us they are usually in the same clothes these days, and it seems they have like two outfits at her house, and she makes sure they change before they come home from what they say... fine by us. Hey one idea for you is to take a picture of him everytime he is dropped off dirty, and save it for evidence. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=24#post-45 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:34:20 +0000 admin 45@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>I love how every time I get my son, his mother drops him off with dirty clothes. Does she realize I am talking notes? Should I return him back with them unwashed? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=23#post-44 Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:55:02 +0000 njsuperfreak 44@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Has anyone out there gotten on of these for there children? I hear a lot of negative stuff about them. Such as it has Mercury in them, or that is really is not a cure. I just want to hear some feed back from other parents. I wonder if my medical insurance will cover it.... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=21#post-43 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:54:43 +0000 jeff 43@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Yeah that sucks! The system is broke!!! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=22#post-42 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:53:38 +0000 jeff 42@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>I have a child living in another state, and it is really hard to setup parenting time with him. He is only 5 and it seems as though I leave messages but his mother never makes him return my calls. This is very frustrating but I keep calling and leaving a message...Hello this is your dad! Anyone out there?? It has now going on week 3! I just want to drive out there and throw the phone at her...So annoying!! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=21#post-41 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:45:09 +0000 njsuperfreak 41@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Title says it all!!! I mean come on...I recently updated my insurance coverage at work, only to find out that my 5 year old son is now required to be fully covered on dental, and eye... What??? Why would a five year old need to have eye insurance? Do to Obama&#39;s new law I am required to fully cover my child even though he does not need half of the coverage. This is totally not fare... especially after finding out that my eye insurance is not so good. But I am totally screwed now and can&#39;t drop it. Anyone have any suggestions? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-40 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:37:49 +0000 njsuperfreak 40@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Still recovering from yesterday....Not fun... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-39 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:56:05 +0000 admin 39@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Added more features </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=17#post-38 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:55:27 +0000 njsuperfreak 38@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>You know it&#39;s really hard having my child live so far away! I don&#39;t miss those awful drop offs anymore!, But I do wish I could hold my child in my arms....I pray that we get too see him for Christmas. I really do.. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-37 Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:50:05 +0000 njsuperfreak 37@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>We still have to create the Blog and connect some other things. But we are now on track! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-36 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:39:27 +0000 njsuperfreak 36@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>just finished placing the chat... I guess this will do for now until we built are own. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=20#post-35 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:36:51 +0000 njsuperfreak 35@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Users need to log in to chat, this area is still being worked on so bare with us in the meantime.... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-34 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:17:18 +0000 admin 34@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Noticed a couple of profile bugs. Should be all good </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=19#post-33 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:13:50 +0000 wickedstep 33@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Its just reduculous. The skids have been fine lately, and totally calmed down since the last incident, but then their BM actually took them for visitation this weekend for holloween, and what a disaster. We sent them with their costumes Oldest was a clown, middle was a ninja, &amp; the baby was a ghost. We get a call friday night , BM screaming that the costumes were unsuitable, cheapo, and Dn should have let her buy the costumes. DH said she was being a loon &amp; hung up. Mind you, we bought them at party city. later that night, 10pmish, oldest skid calls in tears b/c she went out to a holloween party,and left the kids with her bf, said they couldnt come b/c they didnt look good eenough costumes. They were upset at being left with bf, and begged us to pick them up. </p> <p>So , dh calls xw, and no answer. He heads out the door.. there goes date night (the only one this month) and picks the kids up. Apparently, she called 26times , after 2am.... &amp; she left some wonderful messages for dh. Dh turns his phone off around bet time, so at least it didn&#39;t bother us. About 8am, he calls her back and surprise, she is too hung over to talk. Nothing else from her all weekend, till today she calls him at work threatening to take him to court b/c he took the kids back. well, he went off on how they were not with her, &amp; so he could come &amp; get them, not to mention they didn&#39;t want to spend anymore time at her house anyways... ooo dh got an earful... poor guy. It was not fun, but t least he did the right thing in picking them up.... but they are al so mad at her &amp; none of them will answer her calls since sunday. Ugh! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-32 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:18:18 +0000 admin 32@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Fixed.... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-31 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:13:11 +0000 admin 31@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Hopefully this fix works </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-30 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:50:28 +0000 njsuperfreak 30@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Were are still making updates. And I found out that the avatars are not working correctly!!!! Very frustrating!!! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-29 Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:59:33 +0000 njsuperfreak 29@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Greetings,</p> <p>We are about to make an major overhaul of this site. More news to come! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=17#post-28 Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:27:14 +0000 jerry 28@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Can't Wait </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=17#post-27 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:50:53 +0000 Ursula 27@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>So the XB has been saying for the last couple weeks that she is getting evicted. Guess she can't afford an apartment herself since her loverman left her high and dry lol. Funny, she manages to rustle cash from somewhere to buy liquor and toys( ss tells us all about it) and when we pick ss up EOF she is getting ready to go paint the town with her Girl whores. Hmmm... so She informed us she is moving where she will be almost two hours away from us . XB currently lives about an hour away, and we do all the transportation. At least we can take ss home on the train Sundays, cus it drops off right in their town.</p> <p>Dh and I did our research, and there is a train station that goes half way to the new place. I encouraged DH to put his foot down and make that a halfway point ... not to mention Dh was furious at the thought of having to drive even further. If we did drive the whole way, it would be about midnight by the time we got ss back home at night... whats the point of that?? Shockingly enough, she seems ok with the idea of meeting us halfway. Of course we shall see the true feelings once we actually do it. I'm just crossing my fingers that DH gets a new job somewhere across the county, so we can put an end to this EOW madness... at this point we are all hating it, esp SS., </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=16#post-26 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:44:29 +0000 Ursula 26@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>OO I'm so annoyed! Our wonderful xB decided she doe not want to pay for any medical bills concerning HER son, and thinks that regardless of the CS agreement, she can just hand the bills to DH and POOF they will be payed. This has been on-going for months now, and began when DH got a call in the middle of the night that she wanted him to come to the hospital, cus ss had a fever ( 103) and she didn't want to be there alone. talk about over reacting! she had her live in BF at the time, and he didnt want to be there either. Good thing Dh was wise enough to know that all she really wanted was for him to come and sign for the bills, so DH would get hit and she wouldn't be forced to pay at all, since as we all know, who ever signs the patient in is legally responsible to pay, custody agreement or not... So of course that really pissed her off that DH didn't "jump" for her. O did I mention that we live over an hour away in another state? sheesh...SS was ok, just had the FLU. So about 6 months later, she starts handing Dh bills that are already in collections.. and one had his name on it at her address... WTFF!! she's crazy I tell ya.<br /> DH called the one that had his name on it , and gave then what for and they fixed it. The other one was not in his name so he just gave XB a detailed check for the percent he has to pay of the bill ( like half).<br /> Two weeks later, she hands us a bill, saying, o, ya this one is due, I payed my half. We looked at it when we got home, and surprise, it was the one that we GAVE her a check for. I guess she thought that we would be screwed , cus it would come off looking like she payed... especially since she went to Dh's bank to cash the check, and didn't use her account, thinking that maybe we couldn't track it. Well TG that DH's bank provides an online scanned printable copy of all checks as they are cashed. We printed it out , sent it back to her with a copy of the agreement in the bill. She was all smiling and thinking we just handed her another check ... NOPE, I'm sure she was quite surprised when she opened that later lol.<br /> Since then she has not given us anymore bills ( since we already payed the half up to date on all of them) but DH got a call on his cell that next Tuesday, from a collections agency who wanted his address. Well, they would not tell him what it was in reference to, and he would not give any info since they were being shady, and they hung up on him haha. He has not been called back since, but I'm sure we have not heard the last of it. We recently went out and made 50 copies of their CS agreement stating who pays what, so that we have it handy in the future to send out . Who lives like this?? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=15#post-25 Wed, 06 Aug 2008 17:39:33 +0000 wickedstep 25@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Ha I could imagine waking up to my Skids hovering over me with a ax lol. You just never know with the video games out there today. I think you are right to be worried about that. <a href="http://www.theadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080715/OPINION01/807150302" rel="nofollow">http://www.theadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080715/OPINION01/807150302</a> O BTW I know someone who got in trouble for letting their 5 &#38; 7 year old sleep in their bed. In a court of law I believe they would consider this inappropriate contact with a child. It's extremely damaging to let a child of that age sleep in the parents bed. Especially if they had previously been sleeping alone. It sound like the BM and Child both need some counseling. I know you can't do anything about the BM , but perhaps you could talk to Dh about getting DSS into therapy? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=9#post-24 Wed, 06 Aug 2008 17:21:33 +0000 wickedstep 24@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Nanny- sounds like you need a girls night out! ( or girls day) don't feel bad about taking time for yourself! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=14#post-23 Wed, 06 Aug 2008 17:19:00 +0000 wickedstep 23@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>OMG! wow is all I can say. These children are lucky they have you for a smom. Can you get the boys a cell phone to use when they are with their BM? That way they can call you if this happens again. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=15#post-22 Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:14:15 +0000 Ursula 22@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>So we drop ss off after a relatively nice visitation weekend, and he starts up his stuff about not wanting to live with BM, hanging on Dh, and basically throwing a separation anxiety tantrum. BM is just feeling sorry for herself these days now that her boy toy woke up and left her sorry butt, so all she could do was complain that<br /> " oooo no one wants to live with me anymore waaaaaa" barf! and then she went on to tell us that SS tried to suffocate her the other night. Apparently she lets him sleep in her bed now, ( o that wont be the least bit damaging) and she woke to find him covering her mouth with his hands. hahahahahah. Ok, so once Dh and I stopped laughing about it, I was like, hey, she lets him watch horror movies, and play adult rated video games, so what to do you want? I'm so sick of this. If you dont allow your children to have some innocence and have a childhood free of mature worries and what not, you cant expect them to grow up to be exactly normal.As far as I know, the beast has been letting ss watch horror movies since he was born. craaaaazy woman... I just cant believe she thinks she is raising him to be "cool" and ignoring the facts of what happens to children who grow up like that, and how desensitized they get. She refuses to let ss live with us, cus she wants her paycheck, and ss is trying more and different things every time we see him to try to live with us, so I am now wondering if she is going to end up one of those parents who is killed in cold blood by her 10 year old son. I'm certainly not in favor of that, as much as I cant stand her, because then the monster she is creating will be with us 24/7...Anyone have thoughts on this? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=14#post-21 Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:45:14 +0000 SteppedOn 21@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Seriously, I think its about time BM had her head checked! We found out yesterday ( when we got the skids back) that BM had passed out drunk both Friday night and Saturday afternoon, and both ss had to entertain and fend for them selves. I dont think we would have a case for court because she never takes then anywhere or attempts to drive drunk, but they had to sit around all day and watch tv, and had a dinner of marshmallows, twinkies and soda. I had to pry it out of ss10, as he is very reluctant to tell me about anything BM does. Dh and I told him that next time she passes out in the middle of the day, to call us ( go to the next door neighbors house and use their phone) since hers is not on half the time. Dh toild me to calm down and not to say anything to BM, btu I am just about had enough of her crap. How can you do this to children you see maybe once a month?!? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=13#post-20 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:28:30 +0000 Ursula 20@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Heres the thing I just don't understand. I am a child of divorce and was never coddled, catered to, placated, or led to believe I was so entitled. Has it ruin my life? Certainly not, and more to the contrary.Instead, I have learned to be a strong resourceful, independent, hard working woman who is not defined by my parents divorce. My mom never taught me that I should have everything, or that people should feel bad for me just because my parents aren't married, and don't live with me anymore, nor can they stand to be in the same room. And that was about 30 years ago, when it was unusual to divorce and we were the minority in a small town. These days blended families and children of divorce are becoming much more common... at least half of all families are now. And these "poor little children" actually get a whole lot because they are children of divorce. They get double in most cases. TWO, YES TWO of everything. Birthday parties, parties, holidays, presents, bedrooms, sets of clothes, entertainment systems, etc ect, not to mention the two sets of parents, of mom and her new family (if any man is crazy enough to somehow be coerced into marring the psychos) and poor dear ol' daddy who works his fingers to the bone just to give up a good percentage of his paycheck to provide for the "child of the marriage" as the divorce papers put it, while mom sits on her lazy tush and collects her second paycheck ( in many cases) while all the time brainwashing the kids into thinking that Step mommy (daddy) is evil and daddy doesn't love them as much as he loves his "new" family. Or that the new guy she bring in is the "real dad". because a real dad would be there every day. Poor, poor kids... actually I do feel for them, as they will be shocked to learn that nothing is handed to you in this world, you have to either be filthy rich, or be a real fighter to get by.</p> <p>But anyway, what about feeling bad for the poor kids of the "Second family" who don't get even half of what these entitled "suffering children of divorce" get...poor dad cant afford to care for them in this way and poor mom (step mommy) can't either because shes busy playing ketchup and picking up all the financial slack and paying all the bills they are struggling with due to dads overpriced CS payments-----? they are the kids we should feel sorry for...but do we? no. Would any sane BM would allow their kids to expect so much and use that as an excuse to be a spoiled, disrespectful, rude little brat? NO. </p> <p>The fathers play their part in this just as much, allowing their kids to grow up like this and treat adults this way! "o I feel so guilty for not living under your roof with you, let me make up for it with (insert what ever it is they want at the moment). O we only have them every once in a while, just ignore that behavior, and tantrum, and name calling, and general disrespect, but lets go get what the kid wants, they deserve it just for being from my gene pool. !!!!!!<br /> I am one of five " children of divorce" and None of us would have ever dreamed of behaving in this way AT ALL. We all learned to take care of ourselves, and each other and be responsible people law abiding citizens. Otherwise both mommy and daddy would not hesitate to take time out of their lives to make us aware that we were entitled to some discipline. The thing that our parents never let us forget is that regardless of the divorce, life had to go on, and we were children regardless of that. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=8#post-19 Sun, 20 Jul 2008 03:45:44 +0000 jeff 19@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Check out this article:</p> <p>In Defense of 'Deadbeat' Dads<br /> <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,127958,00.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,127958,00.html</a></p> <p>A July 25 Justice Department study reveals that 6.9 million people — one in 34 adults — were on probation, parole or incarcerated in 2003. This record-breaking figure has prompted calls for the removal of nonviolent offenders from the system.</p> <p>If that happens, the first offenders to be removed should be "deadbeat dads" imprisoned for defaulting on child support they cannot afford to pay.</p> <p>An obstacle confronts this proposal. An amazing lack of data surrounds some basic questions: How many "deadbeat dads" are in the correctional system? Do they refuse to pay or are they unable to do so?"</p> <p>The dearth of data is amazing because the "deadbeat dad" has been a high-profile issue in politics and the media for many years. Non-payment of child support is a significant problem in the United States. According to the Federal Office of Child Support, in 2003, $96 billion in accumulated unpaid support was due to children in the United States; 68 percent of child support cases were in arrears. An overwhelming majority of children, particularly minorities, living in single-parent homes where child support is not paid live in poverty. Yet, many questions about these fathers and why they fail to pay remain unanswered.</p> <p>A July 25 Justice Department study reveals that 6.9 million people — one in 34 adults — were on probation, parole or incarcerated in 2003. This record-breaking figure has prompted calls for the removal of nonviolent offenders from the system.</p> <p>If that happens, the first offenders to be removed should be "deadbeat dads" imprisoned for defaulting on child support they cannot afford to pay.</p> <p>An obstacle confronts this proposal. An amazing lack of data surrounds some basic questions: How many "deadbeat dads" are in the correctional system? Do they refuse to pay or are they unable to do so?"</p> <p>The dearth of data is amazing because the "deadbeat dad" has been a high-profile issue in politics and the media for many years. Non-payment of child support is a significant problem in the United States. According to the Federal Office of Child Support, in 2003, $96 billion in accumulated unpaid support was due to children in the United States; 68 percent of child support cases were in arrears. An overwhelming majority of children, particularly minorities, living in single-parent homes where child support is not paid live in poverty. Yet, many questions about these fathers and why they fail to pay remain unanswered....... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=9#post-18 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:24:49 +0000 Ursula 18@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>It is your house, but you have invited them all in.. but that doesn't mean they can treat you like crap. Sound like a major household sit down is in order. First with your Dh, then the kids. You may need to go on strike with the house work for a while, just to get the point across. Let Dh know that you are not a free ride, and that if he and his daughters don't start pitching in and carrying their weight, then things will be a changing . Since his daughters are at an age that they can read, draw up a list of chores for each one , each week. It sounds like they would respond to getting privileges taken away if they chores are not done, rather then earning things, but you would know better. Theres no reason for you to live like this, and you will no doubt face some opposition at first, but stick to your guns, things will change if you stick with it. Sometimes you just have to show them how serious you really are. </p>