http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ Speak your mind and share your thoughts en Thu, 09 Sep 2010 04:42:50 +0000 http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=25#post-50 Sun, 06 Dec 2009 07:28:08 +0000 bravo2aviation 50@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Hi I am brand new to this forum, and am in a terrible bind. Just looking for some advise from someone who has hopefully, although unfortunately, been there..My wife and I have been happily married for 8 years. I am the step dad of her two kids, ages 13(boy), and 17(girl). We also have a 4 year old that is ours together. The 13 year old is good as gold, but the 17 year old girl has been a troublemaker for as long as I&#39;ve known them. She has been expelled from school, been caught cutting herself, been in therapy, which according to her therapist, successfully completed, and the list goes on. I have kept a little distance, while still letting it be known that her mom and I are united in our decisions. About 6 months ago, she decided she would rather be &quot;gay&quot;, which, as a devout christian family, we do not like. She seemingly complied with our rules, but we have recently found out about sneaking out and a secret cell phone provided by the other girl, who is 16. My wife and I went christmas shopping earlier today, the 13 year old was playing in a basketball tourney, and we left our daughter in charge of babysitting the 4 year old. Upon arrival, the 4 year old began describing all the &quot;activity&quot; that went on ALL DAY while the other girl was there. She came over right after we left as he was eating his breakfast, and stayed all day, so no supervision. This REALLY ticked me and my wife off. When my wife confronted her about it, She (daughter) became irate and kicked my wife in the throat and began texting one of her school friends that she was being harrassed. I later found out that this was not the first occurrance of the girl coming over, and that my little 4 year old was threatened not to say anything. How should I handle this situation??? I am in deep need of advise. I am protecting my little boy with prayer first and foremost, but also with force if needed..Thanks so much </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=23#post-44 Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:55:02 +0000 njsuperfreak 44@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Has anyone out there gotten on of these for there children? I hear a lot of negative stuff about them. Such as it has Mercury in them, or that is really is not a cure. I just want to hear some feed back from other parents. I wonder if my medical insurance will cover it.... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=17#post-27 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:50:53 +0000 Ursula 27@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>So the XB has been saying for the last couple weeks that she is getting evicted. Guess she can't afford an apartment herself since her loverman left her high and dry lol. Funny, she manages to rustle cash from somewhere to buy liquor and toys( ss tells us all about it) and when we pick ss up EOF she is getting ready to go paint the town with her Girl whores. Hmmm... so She informed us she is moving where she will be almost two hours away from us . XB currently lives about an hour away, and we do all the transportation. At least we can take ss home on the train Sundays, cus it drops off right in their town.</p> <p>Dh and I did our research, and there is a train station that goes half way to the new place. I encouraged DH to put his foot down and make that a halfway point ... not to mention Dh was furious at the thought of having to drive even further. If we did drive the whole way, it would be about midnight by the time we got ss back home at night... whats the point of that?? Shockingly enough, she seems ok with the idea of meeting us halfway. Of course we shall see the true feelings once we actually do it. I'm just crossing my fingers that DH gets a new job somewhere across the county, so we can put an end to this EOW madness... at this point we are all hating it, esp SS., </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=21#post-41 Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:45:09 +0000 njsuperfreak 41@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Title says it all!!! I mean come on...I recently updated my insurance coverage at work, only to find out that my 5 year old son is now required to be fully covered on dental, and eye... What??? Why would a five year old need to have eye insurance? Do to Obama&#39;s new law I am required to fully cover my child even though he does not need half of the coverage. This is totally not fare... especially after finding out that my eye insurance is not so good. But I am totally screwed now and can&#39;t drop it. Anyone have any suggestions? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=24#post-45 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:34:20 +0000 admin 45@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>I love how every time I get my son, his mother drops him off with dirty clothes. Does she realize I am talking notes? Should I return him back with them unwashed? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=22#post-42 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:53:38 +0000 jeff 42@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>I have a child living in another state, and it is really hard to setup parenting time with him. He is only 5 and it seems as though I leave messages but his mother never makes him return my calls. This is very frustrating but I keep calling and leaving a message...Hello this is your dad! Anyone out there?? It has now going on week 3! I just want to drive out there and throw the phone at her...So annoying!! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=18#post-29 Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:59:33 +0000 njsuperfreak 29@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Greetings,</p> <p>We are about to make an major overhaul of this site. More news to come! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=20#post-35 Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:36:51 +0000 njsuperfreak 35@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Users need to log in to chat, this area is still being worked on so bare with us in the meantime.... </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=19#post-33 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:13:50 +0000 wickedstep 33@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Its just reduculous. The skids have been fine lately, and totally calmed down since the last incident, but then their BM actually took them for visitation this weekend for holloween, and what a disaster. We sent them with their costumes Oldest was a clown, middle was a ninja, &amp; the baby was a ghost. We get a call friday night , BM screaming that the costumes were unsuitable, cheapo, and Dn should have let her buy the costumes. DH said she was being a loon &amp; hung up. Mind you, we bought them at party city. later that night, 10pmish, oldest skid calls in tears b/c she went out to a holloween party,and left the kids with her bf, said they couldnt come b/c they didnt look good eenough costumes. They were upset at being left with bf, and begged us to pick them up. </p> <p>So , dh calls xw, and no answer. He heads out the door.. there goes date night (the only one this month) and picks the kids up. Apparently, she called 26times , after 2am.... &amp; she left some wonderful messages for dh. Dh turns his phone off around bet time, so at least it didn&#39;t bother us. About 8am, he calls her back and surprise, she is too hung over to talk. Nothing else from her all weekend, till today she calls him at work threatening to take him to court b/c he took the kids back. well, he went off on how they were not with her, &amp; so he could come &amp; get them, not to mention they didn&#39;t want to spend anymore time at her house anyways... ooo dh got an earful... poor guy. It was not fun, but t least he did the right thing in picking them up.... but they are al so mad at her &amp; none of them will answer her calls since sunday. Ugh! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=16#post-26 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:44:29 +0000 Ursula 26@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>OO I'm so annoyed! Our wonderful xB decided she doe not want to pay for any medical bills concerning HER son, and thinks that regardless of the CS agreement, she can just hand the bills to DH and POOF they will be payed. This has been on-going for months now, and began when DH got a call in the middle of the night that she wanted him to come to the hospital, cus ss had a fever ( 103) and she didn't want to be there alone. talk about over reacting! she had her live in BF at the time, and he didnt want to be there either. Good thing Dh was wise enough to know that all she really wanted was for him to come and sign for the bills, so DH would get hit and she wouldn't be forced to pay at all, since as we all know, who ever signs the patient in is legally responsible to pay, custody agreement or not... So of course that really pissed her off that DH didn't "jump" for her. O did I mention that we live over an hour away in another state? sheesh...SS was ok, just had the FLU. So about 6 months later, she starts handing Dh bills that are already in collections.. and one had his name on it at her address... WTFF!! she's crazy I tell ya.<br /> DH called the one that had his name on it , and gave then what for and they fixed it. The other one was not in his name so he just gave XB a detailed check for the percent he has to pay of the bill ( like half).<br /> Two weeks later, she hands us a bill, saying, o, ya this one is due, I payed my half. We looked at it when we got home, and surprise, it was the one that we GAVE her a check for. I guess she thought that we would be screwed , cus it would come off looking like she payed... especially since she went to Dh's bank to cash the check, and didn't use her account, thinking that maybe we couldn't track it. Well TG that DH's bank provides an online scanned printable copy of all checks as they are cashed. We printed it out , sent it back to her with a copy of the agreement in the bill. She was all smiling and thinking we just handed her another check ... NOPE, I'm sure she was quite surprised when she opened that later lol.<br /> Since then she has not given us anymore bills ( since we already payed the half up to date on all of them) but DH got a call on his cell that next Tuesday, from a collections agency who wanted his address. Well, they would not tell him what it was in reference to, and he would not give any info since they were being shady, and they hung up on him haha. He has not been called back since, but I'm sure we have not heard the last of it. We recently went out and made 50 copies of their CS agreement stating who pays what, so that we have it handy in the future to send out . Who lives like this?? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=15#post-22 Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:14:15 +0000 Ursula 22@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>So we drop ss off after a relatively nice visitation weekend, and he starts up his stuff about not wanting to live with BM, hanging on Dh, and basically throwing a separation anxiety tantrum. BM is just feeling sorry for herself these days now that her boy toy woke up and left her sorry butt, so all she could do was complain that<br /> " oooo no one wants to live with me anymore waaaaaa" barf! and then she went on to tell us that SS tried to suffocate her the other night. Apparently she lets him sleep in her bed now, ( o that wont be the least bit damaging) and she woke to find him covering her mouth with his hands. hahahahahah. Ok, so once Dh and I stopped laughing about it, I was like, hey, she lets him watch horror movies, and play adult rated video games, so what to do you want? I'm so sick of this. If you dont allow your children to have some innocence and have a childhood free of mature worries and what not, you cant expect them to grow up to be exactly normal.As far as I know, the beast has been letting ss watch horror movies since he was born. craaaaazy woman... I just cant believe she thinks she is raising him to be "cool" and ignoring the facts of what happens to children who grow up like that, and how desensitized they get. She refuses to let ss live with us, cus she wants her paycheck, and ss is trying more and different things every time we see him to try to live with us, so I am now wondering if she is going to end up one of those parents who is killed in cold blood by her 10 year old son. I'm certainly not in favor of that, as much as I cant stand her, because then the monster she is creating will be with us 24/7...Anyone have thoughts on this? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=9#post-12 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:28:17 +0000 NannyMcFe 12@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Hi all, I'm the Sm of two girls, 10&#38; 14. We have them full time, but get no CS ( got to love the fairness). Their BM choses to be a lazy slob, and has re-married, but doesn't want custody because it would ruin the dead beat ambiance of her new marriage. Anyway, Things were good befor I let them all move in, but a few months after Dh and I were married, he lost his well paying job and was forced to settle for a much lower paying job. My job is great so I end up picking up most of the bills, since he still pays her child support, which is all but about $100. of his paycheck. To make it even better, He does not chip in with the household chores, or cooking. He has no idea what discipline means, and lets the girls do whatever and run a muck. I am so run down and tired off all this crap, I think I have about had it. I feel like just walking out the door, and leaving them all behind. But hey it's my house right? argh I just want to scream. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=14#post-21 Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:45:14 +0000 SteppedOn 21@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Seriously, I think its about time BM had her head checked! We found out yesterday ( when we got the skids back) that BM had passed out drunk both Friday night and Saturday afternoon, and both ss had to entertain and fend for them selves. I dont think we would have a case for court because she never takes then anywhere or attempts to drive drunk, but they had to sit around all day and watch tv, and had a dinner of marshmallows, twinkies and soda. I had to pry it out of ss10, as he is very reluctant to tell me about anything BM does. Dh and I told him that next time she passes out in the middle of the day, to call us ( go to the next door neighbors house and use their phone) since hers is not on half the time. Dh toild me to calm down and not to say anything to BM, btu I am just about had enough of her crap. How can you do this to children you see maybe once a month?!? </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=13#post-20 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:28:30 +0000 Ursula 20@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Heres the thing I just don't understand. I am a child of divorce and was never coddled, catered to, placated, or led to believe I was so entitled. Has it ruin my life? Certainly not, and more to the contrary.Instead, I have learned to be a strong resourceful, independent, hard working woman who is not defined by my parents divorce. My mom never taught me that I should have everything, or that people should feel bad for me just because my parents aren't married, and don't live with me anymore, nor can they stand to be in the same room. And that was about 30 years ago, when it was unusual to divorce and we were the minority in a small town. These days blended families and children of divorce are becoming much more common... at least half of all families are now. And these "poor little children" actually get a whole lot because they are children of divorce. They get double in most cases. TWO, YES TWO of everything. Birthday parties, parties, holidays, presents, bedrooms, sets of clothes, entertainment systems, etc ect, not to mention the two sets of parents, of mom and her new family (if any man is crazy enough to somehow be coerced into marring the psychos) and poor dear ol' daddy who works his fingers to the bone just to give up a good percentage of his paycheck to provide for the "child of the marriage" as the divorce papers put it, while mom sits on her lazy tush and collects her second paycheck ( in many cases) while all the time brainwashing the kids into thinking that Step mommy (daddy) is evil and daddy doesn't love them as much as he loves his "new" family. Or that the new guy she bring in is the "real dad". because a real dad would be there every day. Poor, poor kids... actually I do feel for them, as they will be shocked to learn that nothing is handed to you in this world, you have to either be filthy rich, or be a real fighter to get by.</p> <p>But anyway, what about feeling bad for the poor kids of the "Second family" who don't get even half of what these entitled "suffering children of divorce" get...poor dad cant afford to care for them in this way and poor mom (step mommy) can't either because shes busy playing ketchup and picking up all the financial slack and paying all the bills they are struggling with due to dads overpriced CS payments-----? they are the kids we should feel sorry for...but do we? no. Would any sane BM would allow their kids to expect so much and use that as an excuse to be a spoiled, disrespectful, rude little brat? NO. </p> <p>The fathers play their part in this just as much, allowing their kids to grow up like this and treat adults this way! "o I feel so guilty for not living under your roof with you, let me make up for it with (insert what ever it is they want at the moment). O we only have them every once in a while, just ignore that behavior, and tantrum, and name calling, and general disrespect, but lets go get what the kid wants, they deserve it just for being from my gene pool. !!!!!!<br /> I am one of five " children of divorce" and None of us would have ever dreamed of behaving in this way AT ALL. We all learned to take care of ourselves, and each other and be responsible people law abiding citizens. Otherwise both mommy and daddy would not hesitate to take time out of their lives to make us aware that we were entitled to some discipline. The thing that our parents never let us forget is that regardless of the divorce, life had to go on, and we were children regardless of that. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=8#post-9 Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:09:25 +0000 njsuperfreak 9@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Why is it that men, are always looked at as being at fault. Just a shout out...Not all of us are deadbeat dads! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=12#post-17 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:15:03 +0000 Ursula 17@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>is a common reaction we get from ss. He has come a long way in his eating habits, but man the kid will do anything for sugar. Befor Dh and I were married, I would step back and let Dh handle ss however he wanted, all that changed once we were married ( at Dh's request &#38; agreement) It used to be so bad that he would try to go on a hunger strike until someone would give him junk. Dh would allow the child to just eat what ever he asked for, and not push anything on him, for fear of ss not having a good time at daddys... so his meals would consist of gummy bears, teddy grahams, pudding, ice cream, and cookies, with juice or milk. Every childs dream, right? This is all good and fun, if his BB would feed him normal meals, but she too was only feeding the bare minimum like pepperoni, popcorn, and cheese. What I started noticing is that the child was sick almost every time we had him, basically ketching anything that came his way. Also his attitude and mood did seem to be out of control half the time for a child his age. I started to try and convince Dh that something had to be done, even if only at our end. I pointed out that the child cant be getting enough nutrition if he gets so sick So often. The pediatrician was even concerned if the number of times in one year that the child was sick, and was small for his age. Another thing, I guess Ss's appetite started to get the best of him because he would start throwing fits, screaming that he was hungry, but refuses to eat anything but sweets, and then hungry 20 mn later.Dh was really getting to the point of being good and aggravated, so after I spent a week caring for ss while he was sick, dh agreed to try things my way for a while, and see if it worked better. I now make everyone sit at the table for meals, not the tv (I'm not a maid!) and started enforcing a bit of a schedule for ss's meals. IF eh doesnt eat breakfast, then nothing till lunch, and so on. After enforcing only one serving of juice a day, and water otherwise, ss now asks for water, and we actually have most meals at our house with little or no problem. It was rough at first, but once I got DH on board, it was better, and now ss is growing well, and has not been sick with even a cold in months. Hey, I'm ok with being the evil smom cus I know he will look back when he gets older and know that I really did care enough about him to do whats best. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=11#post-16 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:39:02 +0000 Ursula 16@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>BB called DH yesterday to let him know that her live in boyfriend has finally packed up and left. HA! I feel for ss, being stuck with just her, but seriously, thats not my problem, and I would not be surprised if BB gives up custody befor too long cus she cant handle her own son.<br /> A little bit of history: BB cheated on DH when they were married several times, each time he took her back not wanting to give up on the marriage. Dh though having children would make her feel better, but things just got worse. She started going out and being shady only a few months after ss was born. DH had enough, and decided that an ultimatum was in order. when he confronted her , she admitted to partaking in yet another affair. Dh gave her the ultimatum, start being a wife and honor our marriage or leave, for the last time. She only took a few hours to tell him she was leaving. He says that once BB walked out the door, she was dead to him. It has always been a soar spot with him that he could not raise his own son.<br /> So, BB left and moved in with her lover. Apparently they have had quite a rocky road, that has come to a dead end now. What can you expect from a relationship based on sex?? She is quite broken hearted over it supposedly (who knew she still had one) But Dh feels as though she is finally getting what she deserves. She got back what she did to DH.<br /> We spoke with the boyfriend a few weeks before they broke up, and he actually said to DH, wow, how did you put up with her for so long? I only was trying to hang in there for ss.I would have never stayed as long as you did. Dh just laughed, and said you did me a favor, happy that he doesn't have to deal with her uglynes on a daily basis any more, and has moved on to a beautiful relationship. But get this, the most messed up part is that the guy waited till BM took ss on vacation for a week. When they came back all his stuff was cleared out. He took care of ss more then bm, so I don't know what life will be like for ss now. Anyways, Dh and I are just sitting back and waiting to see what she does next. At least Dh can rest in peace knowing ultimately he made the right decision. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=10#post-15 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:44:52 +0000 Ursula 15@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>what is it about clothing a stepchild that is so hard for BM? she sends ss4 to us on Fridays in the most raged ill fitting clothes, and then expects us to send him back in new clothes. I wouldn't mind for ss sake dressing him in better clothes, but then they never come back and we end up with crap for him to wear when we have him EOW. Not to mention that she is suppose to be using child support money to make sure the child has suitable clothes. Dh has seen SSs room on occasion, and has assured me that he has more clothes then he can ever wear, so what is the deal with this? lately we have just given up and resorted to making s change into the clothes he had on when he came just befor we send him home. I hate this stupid game, and it seems so petty but how can it be stopped? O it was a riot the other weekend when ss was picked up from schoool in snow boots. Mind youm its the middle of the summer....??? well, we had to get him shoes for the weekend, but he put the boots right back on when we took him home. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=5#post-6 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:56:29 +0000 wickedstep 6@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Ok, I hate to complain, but I have had about enough of this. SD 10 &#38; SD 13 think they own my house MY HOUSE when they come over for visitation EOW and every Wednesday after school. Apparently Their BM doesn't make then do anything at their house, and DH told me their rooms were absolute pigsties. I as much as ask them to use a coaster, or take their plates to the sink and I get evil glares and a cold shoulder until they pretty much need something, and Daddy is not around to ask. That is only the tip of the iceberg. They raid the closets, eating anything remotely related to junk, hog the TV the whole time they are around, leave wrappers &#38; dirty dishes all over the house, and have numerous times spilled things on the furniture. I basically have to scrub the house and do an overhaul every time they leave. When I say anything to Dh I am the bad guy, and am accused of not accepting the stepkids. He has said in the past that I am out to get them, and that I need to treat them better because they have been through a lot. WELL! thats fine, but just because they have it "o so rough" , it means that after a hard days work I have to come home to a disgusting mess, all because the princess's need to be catered to?? How do you deal with this? I'm so frustrated! </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=6#post-7 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:02:29 +0000 SteppedOn 7@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>We have custody of ss5 &#38; SD10, and have been pretty much been raising them without BM's help for the last 4 years. BM doesn't show up for visitation most of the time, only when it's convenient for her. The poor kids will wait by the door, and lurk by the windows every friday nigh she is suppose to show, but either she doesn't bother to call and tell us, or she actually calls, and quickly snaps that she is extremely busy at work and will be working all weekend. On the rare occasion she does show, they return home sunday night, complaining that they are starving, haven't had baths, and are in the worst mood. </p> <p>My question is this ... if the kids are getting nothing out of the visitation other then " mommy is a horrible parent" who neglects us, and is quite unstable, then what is the point of having it? the kids are not befitting from this. The courts don't consider her unfit enough , I guess, even though she is on 3 different antidepressants and drinks, and we can't get her to give up parental rights, lest she not be able to be called a mother anymore. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=3#post-3 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 14:47:13 +0000 njsuperfreak 3@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>I hate NJSPC!!!! Sent my payments Back!!! FU!!!!!!! Because I put address labels on my check!! Why don't they update there system! So I can do my payment online!!! FU reimburse me for postage. </p> http://www.stepgab.com/forum/topic.php?id=4#post-5 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 16:40:38 +0000 jeff 5@http://www.stepgab.com/forum/ <p>Anyone no of a good one? </p>